Now I want to Change

I am the mesmerized psycho,

Willing to be carried away.

Sizzling in the sentenced life,

Never able to make it to the lanes of destiny.

Surfacing the reality of life ,

Acting to the very word of divine .

I am Pronouncing the unlikely and

Trying to sing lamely in self glory.

Blinded by the lust,

And waiting to get drifted away.

When I was buried deep down in shame,

Intensified emotions brought me to the surface

Waking up after a deep sleep, now I want to change

I want to get up and stand on my own

Unshaken by the shadow of past sins

I want to purify the air with newly gained spirit of my soul

World without any boundaries…… sky without any horizons

There may not be many who appreciate a piece of write-up without a proper flow….a write up without proper commas and full stops……….

I like  abstracts without any pauses .....may be for the very simple reason that life is not about proper flow …...it’s like a tablet and “caution” no sugar coatings.....sometimes I hate myself for being so honest...and probably it’s an answer to the most popular boring  interview question " what are your negatives" and my answer is so obvious ….I am so bl**dy honest......

Learning the art of sugar coating is the biggest added advantage and may be sooner or later all of us realize it...some after the first fall and some after may be the 10th.....but the truth is we do realise.....it’s different that despite realising you behave like how I do....like a spotted cheetah...who can never hide those spots.....despite anything ....never learn to slow down…….

Out of all the things I write... I admire  and love to just keep writing without any proper flow….without any mental picture….without any set image…..and then realise may be it does make sense…..and  may be  hopefully someone will understand it.

I guess most often than not all of us are scared of abrupt things….scared of sentences without full stops and commas….we are scared everywhere…... scared in everything... in love…in work….and  in most parts of our life….we hate it when plans don’t work…. hate it when we plan to bake a cake and it turns out to be a paste of batter……. Nevertheless….the best things in world have evolved from the worst and unless we aren’t prepared …..The best would never be known……

Looking out for consistencies in life .......we seem to have lost ourselves ..........in  thirst of the perfect world…. which  is almost  impossible…..which we have been searching for  all our lives..... almost throughout our life…. we are forgetting to live …….we forget to breathe...to  relax to smell the fragrance around....……

may be its time we start living….we start accepting those lines without commas.... pauses and full stops  because it is not important that you always  make sense.......but what is important is we learn to live......learn to fly in a sky without horizons.......learn to live in a world without boundaries..

The Forbidden Fruit

You tried so much, so much to stop yourself.

You tried so much, so much to be in control.

Rolling down with emotions,

You always landed on the wrong side.

You held everything so firm, so firm

Until you could walk no more with their mass.

You walked on a string, the one which was thin and hard,

The one you could hardly balance in and hardly managed to walk.

You crossed those lines and crossed those set marks,

You left all boundaries made out of your own disguise.

You started new trends and turned into a rebel,

But did only mistake, mistake of tasting the forbidden fruit.

The love I have for life

Mesmerized by the one I saw,

I kept walking on the walkway along.

I looked towards the more blessed

To learn how I am not.

It always looked greener ,

And it always looked brighter..Oh’ dear

Subdued emotions still let me live,

Though every pebble I moved still seemed a rock.

Every emotion seemed heavy,

With every hour and second passing by the clock.

Inspired by the virtues of love,

I began a journey of pain .

I rolled beneath the lovely looking sky,

Deceiving the thorns below my bed .

I began with the little, the little I had known.

Don’t believe I am still afraid of the unknown.

The quest and the quench is ever lasting,

I will still try to walk no matter how many times I fall.

This time not mesmerized by the one I saw, but for the love I have for life

You tried to loosen up without having any ties

You tried to loosen up, until you got really tied,

Until you got tangled more, because you tried really hard

The bonding’s of unknown, with no space for the ones actually known,

The ones who are sitting next to you always got a frown.

  

The more you tried to get unstrained, the more you got closed in the trail

Farther from the real world and closer to the destinations you have never made

Working clumsily in your life, you tried all modern and the older styles.

Struggling in the haze and snuggling everything you meet on your ways

  

Not judging your means and how you have lived your life

With so much I shared with you and so much I had cared

You kept testing everyone around with no reasons you dared

While you thought you are unbinding you actually tied yourself back

For me it had been different as I have been much more alive

Realizing the fun of being tied is different from the freedom of skies.

Having learned to try all ways despite restraints around

Still learning to stay calm in those trembling and moving surround.

Not trying to unwind, not trying it really hard

I haven’t got wasted like you and neither have I cried  

Staying more surprised though staying a little shied

You realized it right; I am keeping myself tied and still staying alive

If it was not for you

If it was not for you, I would be still smiling

I would have been in air

I would have been struggling,

I would have still searched for my life.

If it was not for you I would have never known love.

I would have got framed and fooled,

I might have got duped and blamed,

I would have still searched for my soul.

If it was not for you, I would have felt overwhelmed.

I would have been satisfied and happy.

I would have felt I am lucky,

I would have skied in the sky like a innocent butterfly.

If it was not you, I would have never known you

Never realized that I miss you

Never realized that I can’t have you

Never felt that I cannot smile again the same way.

If it was not for you, I would be still smiling...